It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
