I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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