Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I believe in your delicious
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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