We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
3 2 1 whiskey
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
