Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
