Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
