So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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