The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
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I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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