I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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