I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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