I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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