i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
