Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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