dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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