Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
