So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
