it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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