I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
