...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
