My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
