everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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