It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
