Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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