If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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