She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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