She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
