he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
