you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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