Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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