i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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