btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize