loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
