I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize