Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
