he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
