She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
