I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
