whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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