i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am mentally ready for anal.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
