she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
These tits shall not be calmed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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