Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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