I've blown a few things in my day
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
