I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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