Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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