If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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