Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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