And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
