Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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