i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
