how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
