whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
