I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
