at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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