I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
