she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So squirting runs in the family.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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