idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
