38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
