I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
