I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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