she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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