watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
